Going For The First Kiss

Dear Speed Seduction® Student,

Here is an important question I got the other day via email. (By the way, feel free to write me with your questions and testimonials!)

"Hi Guys

It's midnight on a rainy Monday in old London Town. I've just got back in from an evening out with a very attractive young lady and I'm a bit frustrated.

I met Cath last year on holiday. When we first met we quite fancied each other, but by the end of the holiday, for various reasons, we weren't seeing eye to eye. Relationship at this point was purely platonic.

We met up again and I ran several patterns from the Home Study Course(http://www.speedseduction.net/products/rj87.asp

At several points when she was in trance I leaned in and she responded very favorably by smiling and leaning in to me.

At the end of the evening I walked her back to her car, gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and we agreed to meet again.

All well and good? If that's the case why do I feel like I managed to capture her imagination but didn't lead it very well?

It seems to be a bit of a theme with me at the moment. I go out, meet quite a few women, get into great conversations with them. Steer these towards SS themes but don't seem to be able lead them to places which let them feel interested or comfortable enough to want to go any further.

I sort of feel like I'm sooooo close. But not quite there? I'm managing to put myself in a scoring position, but can't quite create the opportunity to put the ball in the back of the net.

Suggestions, support and encouragement most welcome.

TR London, England"


Ok, TR. Good going, so far. You are using patterns and getting some strong, favorable responses.

Here is where you screwed it up:

YOU WAITED UNTIL THE END OF THE EVENING TO GO FOR THE KISS!

What is this stuff about waiting to walk her back to her car?

You have to learn to strike while the iron is hot.

If you see her leaning into you, that's a huge NON-VERBAL SIGNAL that is screaming out: KISS ME, STUPID!

The more important issue is, you seem to be putting Speed Seduction® through a dating framework.

What I mean by that is, even though you are using the patterns and getting great responses, you are still thinking in terms of traditional dating when it comes to making your move.

You are still thinking you have to wait til the end of the evening, etc etc.

Get that traditional "dating" programming out of your head.

When you capture and lead a woman's imagination and emotions, they will be ready for action, far more quickly than you would ever get through traditional dating.

Peace and piece,

RJ

P.S. Want to enjoy fantastic success with amazing women, without resorting to traditional dating, stupid "dating tips", trite "dating advice", canned "pick up lines" and the rest of that nonsense?

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This newsletter, and all of its contents are
copyright 2004, Ross Jeffries. However this
newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in
any format, without prior consent, provided
all content, including all links, are kept
intact, proper credit for authorship is given,
and the newsletter is given for free,
without charge.

Assertiveness Part 3

Communication skills are a KEY to being assertive. Become AWARE of:
WHAT YOU SAY

* Be Specific, not general. "I have taken on more responsibilities - purchasing and supervising - and I think I should be compensated accordingly". NOT "You should give me a raise"

* Stay calm, becoming emotional or bringing up the past is counterproductive, i.e., "I had to ask for a raise last year too."
HOW YOU SAY IT

* Be steady. If you voice is too soft, whiny, shaky, sarcastic or threatening, you will not come across well.

* Use "I feel" rather than "You are" in your statements. I feel angry when you do not call to say you are going to be late." NOT " You are such a thoughtless jerk!"
WHERE AND WHEN TO SAY IT

It is best to be assertive most of the time. And some times and places are not appropriate.

The Classic, It is best to confront someone in private rather than in front of people.

It is common courtesy to discuss sensitive issues in private.

KEEPING THE FOLLOWING 4 POINTS IN MIND WILL ASSIST YOU TO INCREASE YOU ASSERTIVENESS

1. Use confident body language

-- Look the person straight in the eye, do not look down or away

-- Keep your body straight, do not slouch.

-- Keep your hands at your sides or in your lap. Do not tap on the table, fiddle with your hair or jewelry, fold your hands across your chest, or point your finger at the other person.

2. Be a good listener

-- Give your full attention to the person who is speaking.

-- Show your interest by responding. Do not simply nod you head in agreement.

-- Briefly summarize in your own words what the person said. It helps eliminate misunderstanding.

3. Respect yourself

-- Realize that you are worthy and have something to offer. Your ideas are important and others can benefit from them.

Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses.

Recognize those things you do well. Do not discount them because they are easy for you.

Take gradual steps toward overcoming your weaknesses. Reward yourself as you improve.

4. Respect Others

+ Everybody has the right to express feelings and opinions.

+ Realize the difference between assertion and aggression. Keep each clear. There is no need to threaten, punish or false influence other people. If you treat them with respect, they will treat you with respect.

YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE STRONGER, HEALTHIER AND MORE ENJOYABLE WHEN THEY ARE BASED ON MUTUAL RESPECT.

How To Use Easily Use Speed Seduction® Language Anytime Anywhere!

Dear Speed Seduction(R) Student,

The other day I received this very good question from a reader who wishes to remain totally anonymous, I'll call him "Anon":


"Ross,

Can Speed Seduction® patterns can be used in school class room where exist lots of students? Because in our place (not United States)girls are much more conservative , if she wants to go out with you to have a cup of coffee , it means maybe you are her good friend or she like you a bit.

So I would like to know if these pattern skills can be used in much more noisy places that include lot of people or even she has a friend sitting aside her ?

(I bought the HSC product 20 days ago)"

RJ here:

First, congrats on your first steps into a whole new way of understanding people, as well as nailing hot women!

Listen: "pattern skills" are about capturing and leading the imagination.

Do people use their imaginations, have their imaginations awakened and led in crowds? In classrooms? With other people? When alone? When walking, sitting, standing?

OF COURSE THEY DO!

Therefore, language (and approaches) that captures and leads the imagination can be used.


......ANY FUGGIN' PLACE YOU FIND YOURSELF, BUCKWHEAT!


Now listen: I am a bit concerned about your question. Here is why.

From the way you put things, you seem to be thinking of patterns as some weird, "outsider" "other" category of communication. Something "alien", from another planet or another world that has to be carefully hidden, like a UFO or a monster, lest people see it unprepared and panic!

Please get this: the language patterns I present in the HSC (and other products) may seem alien, or "foreign" or "dangerous" or "odd" or "weird"..to YOU.

**********************************************
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But to women, they are a perfect match for how they think, ANYWAY.

This kind of language is instantly and UNCONSCIOUSLY
recognized and responded to in a positive fashion by women, because it matches the internal "maps" they have already laid down in the deepest levels of their minds about what turns them on, moves them, excites them.

Do you get it?

You are NOT introducing anything odd or weird or foreign..to THEM.

Remember, language that would revolt, turn off, weird-out and totally creep out us guys, is like HONEY to women.

That's the first thing to get.

Now, get this:

The patterns I present in the courses are only (ONLY)
examples. They are meant to train and teach and familiarize your mind with the kinds of talk that turn women on.

Yes, by themselves, just as written, recited from memory,
they can often be VERY powerful.

But eventually, through using them and UNDERSTANDING HOW AND WHY THEY WORK, I want you to be able to come up with you own, original stuff.

Now, here is the next understanding, based on what I just
said:

****Wherever possible, tailor, modify and adapt your language to the unique situation and the unique audience and environment you have in front of you****

How do you do this?

Well, first of all, you go beyond MEMORIZING. You have to really understand and experience the idea of capturing and leading the imagination and that this happens all the time.

You have to get that the imagination, fantasy, and right brain visualizing and emotion controls MUCH more of human behavior than you ever first realized, especially with women.

You have to experience how words can paint vivid mental images and create strong flows of feeling.

You have to understand(UNDERSTAND!!!!) how vague language and descriptive language can create huge flows of positive emotion and trigger mental images.

Once you really understand, then you can go to modifying
what you say to fit your audience and the environment.

You can match your language to:

*Something going on in the physical environment.

*Something going on in the emotional environment

*Something your audience is DOING

*Something your audience is OBSERVING

(It doesn't' matter whether you audience is one woman or 2 dozen women. These principles work regardless and irrespective of numbers).

Another principle is: observe who is most responsive to your words.

Example: let's say you are at a poetry reading and you are going to get up on stage and read some steamy seduction poems, like my "Fascination" poem which is actually in the BHSC.

What you want to do is SLOWLY read the poem, pausing as you go and make eye contact with the audience. Watch to see which women are most strongly responding: who is getting all "doggy dinner bowl", with wide open eyes, lips parted, breathing heavy, even nipples erect.

THOSE are the girls you will want to talk to, afterwards.

Whenever I am in a group of women, I always watch to see who is most responsive. Those are the ones I will zero in on for more attention.

Ok. Good questions. I hope the answers get you started.

RJ

VERY IMPORTANT P.S. I am shipping off the very first DVD copies of my newest product: Secrets Of Gold-Walk-Ups How To Use Speed Seduction To Easily Meet Women, Anytime, Anywhere (and never worry about what to say).

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This newsletter, and all of its contents are copyright Ross Jeffries. However this newsletter may be reprinted and re-used in any format, without prior consent, provided all content, including all links, are kept intact, proper credit for authorship is given, and the newsletter is given for free, without charge.

Can you explain to me why people (I) have so much trouble with Communication?

As you probably guessed by now, I like definitions. The number one definition for communication is “an act of transmitting”. It implies ONE WAY and has no mention of content of what was transmitted. The number three definition is “a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs or behavior”. I like this one.

By focusing on two points you will greatly enhance the ways to communicate. Point one is information exchanged. Point two is the common system. In human communication and understanding human communication it requires a certain level of common language which includes environmental background. If a very religious person wants to clearly communicate their views with someone who does not have the same upbringing, then it is the responsibility of the speaker to learn and adapt to the audience to communicate with clarity.

If two people are engaged in interpersonal communication and want to be effective and they come from different economic backgrounds, then each must be aware and use that knowledge to be most effective in communication. They must also be aware of their non verbal and verbal communication. For Example, if a person is saying “yes” while shaking their head “no”. This non verbal communication should be noticed and determined whether it is a symbol or sign which is not congruent.

So to effectively communicate or communicate well, one should always consciously have a purpose and know the model of the world of the person or audience.

Also remember, when you are talking to a person, there are two people listening and one of them is you. Pay attention to your “self talk” and change it. All these together will allow you to communicate with confidence.

Advertising is a similar situation. To know if you are effectively communicating, you must have feedback, the other part of the information exchange. The feedback is sales or questions.

Am I communicating effectively with you? I can look at orders and questions coming back from you. If what I have to offer does not resonate with you, you will unsubscribe. If you like what you read and use it, if you feel good when you read, when you see something that rings true, you just know inside you want more, can you smell the sweet smell of success, then you will buy a product from us. If the products produce results for you, you will come back for more. Does that make cents and dollars?

Dr YJC

Wake Up People Explained Today

I move people a little different than most. My mom was an alcoholic. She was the nicest person in the world one minute and the opposite the next. I learned to sense people very early to survive. Today I can detect Bull Shit quickly or with a lot of people it is there rationalization of what has happened and they want me to buy into it. You do not help a drunk giving him a drink. You do not help a drug addict by giving them drugs, no matter how compelling their story might be. I ask a few questions. Make a few statements. Observe/Listen for reactions and make a preliminary determination of what is going on.


My agenda is to be curious about what makes this person tick. I want to know how they will respond in a given situation. In technical terms, I am finding out their model of the world, their meta programs. In the simplest terms, I am being aware. I am in the moment. I am focused on them.


Being aware, by the way, accelerates learning and puts more things on automatic quicker so you can have a smoother, easier, more productive life.


In college, I took very few notes. I was focused on the teacher and the concepts. Understanding was first, notes were second. Most people focus on note taking with the hope of understanding later. This usually results in inconsistent results. Can you understand why?

Dr YJC

Affirmations - Some work, Some Don't, WHY?

I am asked frequently if affirmations really work or why don’t affirmations work for me. Some ask if affirmations are the same as self talk. Let’s start with an example. When you finish this paragraph, get up and go do it then come back. Find a mirror. Stand in from of the mirror and look at yourself and say, “I am the world’s greatest tennis player” or “I am going to be the world’s greatest tennis player” or “I am going to become a great tennis player.”

If you were too lazy to really get the experience by doing it then just imagine that you did the exercise. Now, when you said the example affirmations, what happened? Did you hear that little voice in the back of your head? What did it say? You can comment back and let us know. It probably said something along the lines: “Yea, right, never” “Who are you kidding” “Like S..t” “Not in this life time” “Oh really” “What a joke”

The point being that while some of the affirmation examples given above seem to be more believable than others, they are all really unbelievable.

They are unbelievable because they are all IDENTITY STATEMENTS. They all say “I am.” This one small set of two words is the destruction of the affirmation or self talk. You can say “I am human.” Most brains will accept that as truth. You can say “I am a student.” If you are enrolled in an educational institution, then the brain will probably accept that even is you are a bad student or do not study. The brain may accept “I am a student” even if you are not enrolled IF you are active in a particular subject area and say that you are a student of “Nature” or “Human Nature” or “Martial Arts.” Otherwise it will reject this also.

The last affirmation above is probably believable for some on you as it emphasizes “going to become.” However, it fails because your intention has failed before. You have intended to do lots of things and they never happened; so what is one more.

So what are the keys for affirmations to work? First, no identity statements; on I am. Second, it must be believable by you. And by you, I mean, your greater mind, your subconscious, your inner self, what ever you want to call IT. Third, and totally missing from the above examples and examples I have seen everywhere, is a process instruction.

When the brain and greater mind gets a process instruction, gets direction, gets a goal and all are connected, then it will constantly work to achieve that result. Let’s take that same example and reword it.

Read this and go stand in front of that mirror again or for the first time and say it. Yes, listen for that little voice in the back of your head.

“You will obtain the foot speed and hand eye coordination to become a great tennis player”

“You will acquire the foot speed and hand eye coordination to become a first class tournament tennis player”

“You will acquire the backhand skills and serving skills to move up to the next level in local tennis club”

It is your serve. Comment with your goal and the affirmation that hasn’t worked. You can also include what you think might work based on this bit of information.

Dr YJC

Metaphors in everyday life.

There was a gentleman on one of the stocks channels the other day. He was explaining the current economic situation and the present administration. He explained it something like this.

There is this drunk in this bar and he has ordered a round of the most expensive drinks for the entire bar. He was told that he could not afford it, that he was broke. Many in the bar also told him that he should stop drinking. He shouted that he knew he was drunk and was addicted to alcohol and that he was planning on getting sober in 10 years and that is also when he would pay for the drinks. “Believe me” he said, “I know what I am doing and I am getting a lot of money from rich people in ten years”. “Besides” he exclaimed, “A few drinks will ease your pain and I know you are all feeling pain.” The Barmaids said everyone should drink and tip. The bartenders believed him and started pouring the drinks. Many took the drinks. A few accepted the drinks, took a sip and then said, No this is not right.

Funny thing about the owners of the Bar, they did not even realize what their employees had done. They were stuck with a bar full of drunks.

Now it is up to you to determine who is in the cast.

Who is the drunk?

Who are his fellow drunks?

Who are the Barmaids?

Who are the Bartenders?

Who are the people in the bar who may be rational?

Who are the owners of the Bar?

Dr YJC

Sensual Romantic Tip and Sensual Arousal - A Start

Sensual Romantic Tip and Sensual Arousal - A Start

Steve called today. “Wow,” he said, “I just heard a seduction coach say that you should approach a woman at an angle from the front. I did it and it worked.” “Wow,” I said, “did he explain it.” He Replied, “No he is just very observant I think and is on to something”
I explained. Have you ever watched National Geographic or any of the Animal shows on TV. It is true in all the animal kingdom. Direct approach, eye to eye, is confrontational. It is predator versus prey. They are determining which is which. Watch the classic shows as the hyenas circle the lions. Approaching at an angle shows mutual respect and flirting. There is a comfort and sensual arousal that naturally takes place with the angle approaching. There is also a significant difference just in shifting the eyes so that the right eye is looking into the right eye even in close conversation. And when the left eye is looking into the left eye. That’s for tomorrow.

Your Guide To The Future

Dr YJC